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I Was A DUFF



I was a DUFF. Designated Ugly Fat Friend.

Being in a group of popular people might be some achievements for someone - and for me at that time. Pretty girls, sassy and being 'respected' around the junior students, like we have special power over the others. I thought I was one of the popular until I watch a movie, DUFF.

This movie is telling about a status of someone in a group. In that group, there must be someone who is not so popular and unattractive. They are being used to be the informant for the boys who want to make a move on their popular friends. And.... I was a DUFF when I was in junior high school. Besides being an informant, I used to be their source of happiness for they made fun of me. They gave me nicknames and made fun of it. Only those who care enough would defend me and they were not my friends in the group.. 

I was ugly back then, I admit it. Sometimes I feel ashamed of how I looked. I deleted most of my junior high school pictures from my facebook. My skin was dark, my hair was totally frizzy (they used to call me 'sarang tawon'), I was so fat, and my style was....weird. It's a complete package to become a DUFF, no? :) 

There was slightly a difference in high school. Some boys still made fun of me, but the difference was my friends stood up for me or at least they made me feel safe after. So it's a +1 for high school. After high school, I had to pause my education for two years. That was the best time of my life before I went to college. I felt free from labels. I ain't nobody's DUFF. I was Audrey. I am Audrey. I felt motivated to change myself into something better. I went on a extreme diet program, I changed my style, and then I became the Audrey today. 

I lived in denial back then, but not anymore. Now I can thank those you bullied me in junior high and high school, cause they motivated me to improve myself. I also never can thank enough my friends in college and my professors who made me a stronger human being. They made me brave enough to be the Audrey. The weirdo, the dreamer and I'm proud of that. And if people still see me as a DUFF, well....I-DON'T-GIVE-A-SHIT. Good night, everyone. :)

"You're a weirdo, fine. Own it. Be the best weirdo you can be." (The DUFF, 2015)
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