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i just learnt somethin.

do you know how it it feel to be betrayed?

it sucks. sorry for my harsh word, but true. so i have this boy, my first boyfriend in life. we have this long distance relationship. and he is 3 years old younger than me. i really don't mind about all the distance thing. so did he *because he said so*. our relationship went well for almost 2 weeks. we shared our dreams and have all the chat like crazy. we even crossed our sleep time for chat. we gave special nickname for each other and other sweet things. even i, really close with his family there. sometimes i chat with his father and his little sister. for your information, he's a best friend of my cousin, so yeah.. i also shared our love story with my *female* cousin. everything went well until...

... he told me that he fell in love with my *female* cousin AGAIN which means he had been fall in love before. SHOCK!!!! that was the first thing i feel. i cried that time, i felt betrayed. HOW HE COULD DO THIS TO ME? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG???? i felt so stress that time. and the worst is, WITH MY OWN COUSIN?????? the first impression for his confession is WHAT THE H*LL????

i felt like a crazy person for a day. really for a day. i cried, i thought bout nothing, looked out the car window with teary eyes. DUMB. so depressed so lonely. really looked like a drama scene. i shared this situation with my best friend, so i felt A LITTLE BIT better. all i could do that time was just pray for the best. in my pray, i didn't ask GOD for he think twice or pull back all the things he said. no, it wasn't it. i only asked GOD, "please give me the best result. i don't care if we have to break up or back together again. i just want to be in the best result in YOUR WAY, not mine". that's all. i gave it all to MY SAVIOR, JESUS.

in the morning, i woke up, and i don't know why i felt like all my brain have been reset. i didn't feel depressed anymore. i surprised myself anyway, silly. so fresh, with a very healthy brain. so, i guess this is the answer for my pray.
the next thing i did is wrote a message for him in facebook. i said now its all up to him. i don't want this situation ruin my mood. if we have to break up, well.. maybe it is just the way. we could be best friend again at least. and his answer only like this, "heeh, thank u so much audrey. and yeah, we still can be best friend". OMGOSH, this guy really try to bring up my nerves. but, whats the point if i yell at him?? the result still the same. our relationship will never be back again. so i just keep it for myself. untill today, all i know is they already in a relationship.yeah, i'm hurt, but so what? life must go on. i own my life, not him. so i'm the controler.

well, i learnt one thing. don't trust people easily. and don't u try to have a really high imagination in your life. goal is good, but too high imagination is the worst because if u don't get what u already imagine, it will hurt u so bad. *thats my own opinion anyway*

have a good day everyone.

*gabriella
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